Self Care: Necessary or A Crock of Sh*t?

I know that people poo-poo on self care.  They say they don't have time, money, etc.  They say it can be done.  Well, I couldn't disagree more.  Self care is a necessity if you ask me, and I am going to tell you why. 

I don’t really know why I feel the pull to write about self care.  I think it’s just because there is this perception that self care has to be a vacation alone or a trip to the spa or something big and fancy.  I think it probably is also because there are so many women walking around with tons of stress and anxiety and I know deep down incorporating a little self care would make a huge difference.  My definition of self care is much different.  It can for sure be those things, but vacation and spa days can be very expensive and the peace and tranquility of those moments are gone just as quickly as if you had done something for 5 or 20 minutes.  

Dictionary.com’s definition of self care is “the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one's own health.”  For me, I like to define health more specifically.  Health is all encompassing of physical, mental and spiritual aspects of who you are.  Self care should be a full mind/body experience.  Self care is also the act of slowing down; of allowing your mind a few minutes of calm. I also feel strongly that self care should be something you do as close to daily as possible.  And before you start throwing stones at me for suggesting daily self care - let me break it down a little more.

Here are some examples of what self care can be.  And this can be for any length of time including just 5 minutes (everyone has 5 minutes a day, don’t come at me!).

• Going for a walk
• Meditating
• Listening to music
• Journaling
• Petting your dog
• Sitting on your porch with a cup of coffee
• Sunbathing
• Taking a bath, sauna or hot tub
• Reading (something that brings you joy)
• Doing any activity that you LOVE - painting, sewing, crafting, gardening, cooking etc.
• Exercise - anything - run, walk, yoga, pilates, weight lifting etc. 
• Just close your eyes (aka rest)

I approach self care as things I do daily, things I do regularly and things I do when I can.  

My daily approach to self care is very physical body based - it is my exercise and my nutrition.  These are the things that will keep my physical body healthy and help keep my mind strong!  I also *almost* always take at least 5 minutes to close my eyes. Things I do regularly include walking (doubles as exercise which is a bonus!), reading and hot tubbing (during the cooler months).  I journal semi-regularly but sometimes that is based on how I am feeling.  I also get in the sun as much as possible especially when the days are longer (and warmer!).  I love to meditate as well but I can often incorporate that into something else, like sunbathing for example or even while walking!

You don’t need to figure out a way to incorporate all these things into your life daily or even regularly - but I would venture a guess that if you start putting some of these into your life you will start to feel better and more balanced.  When you take time for yourself, even 5 minutes, you should feel JOY! It should feel GOOD!  

Remind yourself during these moments that you are the most important person.  That taking care of yourself means you show up for everyone else in a much better way.  It means you have the capacity to actually help other people on a deeper level. The act of putting yourself first and taking care of yourself is an act of love for not only yourself but everyone around you.

Self care will help you feel mentally clearer.  It will help you to realize where your life feels busy and overwhelming and remind you what you can do to counteract that or balance it or change it altogether.  Self care is a total body experience.  When you focus on your mind and spirit- your body will feel better.  When you focus on your body, your mind and spirit will be lifted.  You are one whole being!!  And that means showing up for yourself in all kinds of different ways.  I think too, that sometimes we get so busy with life we forget to do the things that bring us joy!  We forget to play!  When we bring joy back into our lives we can reduce anxiety and boost our mood!  We can feel like we have more space to take care of our whole body.

And here is another important point for my mama’s: modeling self care for your babies is one of the most beautiful things you can do.  So if you don’t want to do self care for YOU, do it for them.  Do it so that they can see that a full and joyful life is possible.  When kids see you working out they want to join you. When they see you eating veggies they are more likely to try them.  When they see you meditating they will mimic that.  They will actually ask for these things and help keep you accountable.  There is NOTHING more beautiful to me than a mom that models these behaviors for her kids.  I have friends that do this and I see it in other people I follow like @eatingbirdfood and @Bewellbykelly on IG.  Rachel Cruze always says “more is caught than taught.”  So don’t tell your kids what to do, show them.  And by showing yourself love, you show them love and you show them how to love themselves.  

Self care is the ultimate act of self love.  And it doesn’t need to be huge - as a matter of fact I think the best self care is in the SMALL acts.  It’s in the daily, weekly or monthly habits.  It’s in small moments of joy.  <3