Managing Stress

Today’s world can be very overwhelming and stressful.  Our society honors the person that works all day and night.  We idolize the people who appear to have it all without knowing the intimate details of their life.  We believe that the more we do is linked to the more we will be loved and honored.  

I am here to blow that all up.  Stress has a certain value in our life to put pressure on us to get some things done, however, the stress that is constant is literally killing us.  So let’s stop it.  Here’s how:

• Have set work hours - Nothing worries me more than the person who is just “so busy” and they have to log on early and work late, everyday forever.  Now I know there are certain times you need to be on a lot or available more but here is the cold hard truth: if you are doing this everyday all year round you are doing it wrong.  You need to reserve your work your ass off schedule for when you truly need it so that when that time comes you can be energized and ready to take the bull by the horns.  If your job cannot carry on without you outside of business hours, you need to make changes and quick.  This could be a whole article in itself.  If you are on call there should be a rotation.  There is no reason for you to be the only one on call all the time.  In order to manage your stress you need to manage this “I’m so busy and important” thing that you are doing first.  
• Set boundaries - Now let’s say it’s not you that is wanting to work 24/7 but your boss requires it.  This is a boundaries issue and you need to own that conversation.  You need to tell your boss you will work within normal business hours and you can do extra during especially busy times, maybe a product launch or holiday season or something like that.  If your boss doesn’t respect that boundary or tells you that you will never rise to the top that way, go find a new job.  Pronto.  Moving on from the job example, sometimes we need to set boundaries within our personal relationships as well.  We might have a friend that stops over every night and is taking up all your time so you can’t get anything done.  You can fill in the blank here, but if there is a relationship or situation that is stressing you out, you need to set a boundary. So many people are afraid to say no to their friends or family.  They are afraid to set a firm line that says “we go to his parents on Christmas and we will be with you on thanksgiving.”  But the only way you are going to get peace is if you start honoring your inner dialogue.  You are always talking to you.  If you just slow down and listen, spend some time in reflection, you will quickly know just where you need to set that boundary line.  For more on boundaries - check out this article.
• Prioritize your health - Your health is number one, always.  You need to make sure that you are making time for exercise and that you are feeding yourself well.  Exercise will help reduce stress and will make you feel happy!  Eating right is the foundation to our whole life and will keep disease and illness at bay.  We cannot avoid stress altogether so having a good foundation is really important!  These things are non-negotiable in my life no matter what stressors I have.  It’s best if you can set this foundation before you hit a high stress time in life so that when you are in a stressful situation it is easy to just continue taking care of yourself like you always have.  If you are trying to add in a health routine in the midst of high stress, it is going to be really difficult unless you are able to implement tips 1 & 2 to open up more time and space for you to focus on this.  The really important part here is that you keep the habit.  When stress increases, you might need to decrease the length of your work out.  You might need to enlist help for meal prep, but keep the habit.  Don’t give up on yourself in this area when high stress hits, this is when you most need to take care of yourself.  It might mean 10 minutes of yoga instead of 30 minutes of HIIT, but do something.  One time I just walked into my basement, did the warm up of a workout and then walked back upstairs.  I couldn’t mentally push my way through the workout so I stopped.  But my body and my brain still went through the motions of my habits. 

Good nutrition is going to be key to supporting you in high stress periods.  Because stress affects our immune system, the last thing we want to do is start eating foods that are going to further suppress our immune system (I’m talking to you sugar & alcohol!).  This is often the combination that has everyone getting sick during the holiday season.  The best way to combat this is to have your house set up healthy.  Don’t have things in the house that are going to be tempting in stressful times.  I prefer not to have unhealthy things in the house at all.  Have some things in the freezer that are easy to pull out when you need it.  Maybe make some chili or something that you can freeze and easily throw in the crock pot when you need a healthy meal. 

• Self care - notice I put self care as a separate category from exercise and nutrition.  While I believe exercise and nutrition is a component of self care, I wanted to differentiate between taking care of your body and taking care of your mind.  Self care can come in all sorts of different forms but the first thing I want you to do is feel your feelings.  Why are you stressed?  Is a family member in the hospital?  Is your dog misbehaving?  Allow all your feelings to happen.  Cry if you want to cry.  Yell if you want to yell (not at someone though!).  If you are angry, punch your pillow or mattress.  Let it out!  Self care can also be things that allow you to quiet your mind like meditation, journaling, time in your bath tub or hot tub, a massage, or even a nap.  It might be something totally different like going out with a trusted friend and having a good time!  Whatever self-care looks like to you, carve out some time for that.
• Vacation - we all need vacation.  It doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive, but take a break from work.  Even a stay-cation where you go do free things each day will benefit you.  The problem is we never give our mind a break.  We never allow ourselves to just be “off” and this leads us to feeling burnt out, overwhelmed and exhausted.  And I have to say it because someone needs to hear it - when you go on vacation you do not need to still be connected to work.  Learn how to put systems in place so that work can continue on without you!  You should be able to take an uninterrupted vacation and your mind, body and soul will thank you.
• Get a calendar - this one is simple and tactical.  If you are not keeping track of your life in a calendar, you need to be.  Sometimes we just get stressed because we are disorganized.  If you can keep track of things on a calendar, you are more likely to be able to identify if you have overbooked yourself or what you can slash or delegate in order to relieve your stress.  It is a great organizational tool and a great visual.

Managing stress can be complicated.  There will be times in your life when stress is higher than others.  Having things in place to make sure you are set up for success will be key to managing stressful times.  Taking care of yourself, mind, body and soul on a regular basis will help you to easily evaluate when you are feeling stressed, why, and what you can implement to reduce that stress.  Deep breaths, my friend!  You can and will get through this!