Living with Gratitude <3

Honestly, I could keep going but I’m sure you get the point. There is truly so much to be grateful for each and everyday. By forcing yourself to write down 5 things each day, you are training your mind what to look for - the good in each day and in each moment. This has the power to radically transform the way that you experience life. Do you go into it looking for the negative or do you go into it looking for the good? When you look for the good each day, you will slowly be able to find the good in each situation.

It’s similar to working out. I know what you are thinking: HUH? Well, when you work out, your muscles grow - because that is what you are paying attention to. In the same way that we train our bodies, we need to train our minds to look for the GOOD in each situation and each day!

Another way you can increase gratitude is by sharing that gratitude with others. Actually tell people when you are thankful for them! I had an experience recently where a friend gave me a big 'ole hug and said “I am so grateful for our friendship.” What?! Talk about teary eyes. Our culture is pretty averse to vulnerable communication like that and yet it is that vulnerable communication that deepens our relationships and makes them even richer and fuller.

One of my mentors, Darren Hardy (I don’t know him personally I’ve just chosen him as a mentor), tells a story about one year how he wrote down things about his wife that he was grateful for. I can’t remember if he did it for a month or a year, but knowing him it was a year. Each day he wrote down one thing and by thanksgiving he had a beautiful present to give to his wife. What a wonderful way to convey love and gratitude.

I can pretty much guess that right about now you are saying “yeah, but I am going through a really tough situation right now and I can’t see how I can be grateful for it.” I get it. There are times when it’s all you can do to survive let alone be grateful inside of that situation. This is one of the reasons why starting a gratitude practice in good times will help you in those tough times. If you are smack dab in the middle of a tough situation, challenge yourself to find just one thing a day to be thankful for. It can be catching a sunrise or sunset and the beautiful colors of the sky. It can be the beauty of a full moon or a piece of chocolate after dinner, a hot shower before work or cuddles with your dog (or kid). It can be not getting any bills in the mail today, or having sick time at work so you can have that day off and get paid for it. I promise even in the toughest times we can seek out the good.

The more that we seek out the good things in life, the more we attract good things into our life. The more we focus on the good in our life, the less the bad has impact on us. It doesn’t make hard times easy - if you are experiencing grief there is no amount of “I am grateful for this perfect day” that is going to take your pain away. It cannot wipe away your grief, but it can help you through it. It is important to know that I am not glossing over the fact that bad things happen and that sometimes we require a higher level of support in the form of a coach or therapist to help us through. From experience, it is possible to hold multiple feelings at one time. It is possible to be sad and grateful.

Recently, I had an experience that was pretty bad. I was an emotional wreck, crying everyday and unsure how to navigate the situation. However, I never let go of my gratitude. During this time I focused on catching as many sunrises as I could because that brings me joy. I kept saying “I’m so grateful this happened because…” You may not be able to do this in every situation, but you can do it in a lot of them! And for the especially hard situations make sure you reach out to someone for help.

Speaking of reaching out to someone… One of the things you can do to increase thankfulness is to hang out with grateful, positive minded people. If you are surrounded by people who are negative you are going to have a real hard time with a gratitude practice. I know people that can find the bad in anything and I stay as far away as possible from those people!!! I’m not kidding. Losing a friend can be tough but if it means you get to live a life filled with joy instead of filled with negative emotions then it’s worth the pain of losing that “friend.” There is an old saying similar to this: you are the sum of the 5 people you hang around with most. So look at the 5 people you are closest to and decide if those are the people you want to be like. Other people is what makes this world go round. Our social relationships are vital to our happiness (think 2020 when we were quarantined from everyone) so it is important to find those friends that being you JOY and they elevate you instead of bring you down. If your friends bring you stress or frustration it’s time to ditch them. I give you permission.

Joy and love and happiness have a high vibration. You can physically feel these emotions in your body. You will radiate that to all the people around you. You will smile more often, you will say hello to people you pass in the hall and people will just naturally gravitate towards you because they can feel your joy. It really is a beautiful thing. So will you start today? Give a formal practice of writing down things you are grateful for daily for one month a try and see how you feel.

You don’t need to wait to be happy to express gratitude, instead express gratitude and experience the happy that comes with it! I am wishing you and your family a beautiful, blessed, joy and love filled THANKSGIVING! <3