Goal Getter

It was a random conversation with a friend while running when it hit me.  I love goals.  It should have been obvious, but for me I was just doing what I believed in and what I said I was going to do.  But my friend made a simple comment, "You are super goal oriented."  That's when I knew I wanted to show other women how to harness the power of goals and here is why.

Goals are critical to establishing purpose behind something that we want to achieve. Goals are the difference between “I sorta kinda want to do this” and “I AM doing this.” If you have ever day dreamed about something but didn't know how to make it happen, listen up! This article is for you.

Why do goals work? According to an article by Positive Psychology, goals “give meaning to our actions.” There is a strong positive correlation between setting goals and actually achieving them. If you just say “I want to lose weight” you don’t have a goal you have a desire. But when you set a goal that is specific such as “I want to lose 20 pounds by January 1” now you are setting yourself up for something actionable. So let’s dive in to how to make your goals specific and how to turn that goal into action and ultimately achievement.

Step 1 - Decide what your goal is

Okay, I know this seems obvious. Like, duh. But this is a step that often people miss or don’t define well enough. If your goal is HUGE it will feel too overwhelming and may even keep you from ever starting. For example, if your goal is to run a marathon (26.2 miles) but you have never even run 5 miles, that goal might just be a little too big to start with. It doesn’t mean that you don’t consider it or throw it away, it means you start with a smaller goal that still works toward that overall goal.

By doing this, you minimize the chances that you will quit before really giving it a go. Picture this: You set a goal to run a marathon. You go out and try to run 3 miles but it is so hard you think you are dying. It’s hot. You are sweating. You stop to walk after mile 1. You can’t breathe. Is this the end? Is my life over?  You walk the rest of the way home.  The chances that you will even consider running a marathon after that first run are slim to none. But what if your first goal was to finish a 5k (3.1 miles)?  After that first 3 mile horrible run, you would know that while that was awful and you felt like death, you could actually finish a 5k (for clarity sake, I would not actually recommend you start running with a 3 mile run - this is just for illustration purposes). You can go out and do that 3 mile run again and again until you are feeling good about it. Each time you do this you are putting a deposit in your “confidence bank.” You are training your brain to believe that you CAN do this. You CAN achieve your goal.

So, yes you can have that big goal, that “one day I want to run a marathon” goal. But let’s start with something that feels more achievable like running a 5k. Once you achieve that one, you can up it to a 10k, then a 10 miler, then a half marathon so on and so forth. Start small. Don’t overwhelm yourself.

Step 2 - Write it down

Now we need to put our goal in writing. Make sure it is specific and has a deadline. Using the 5k example above, I would write something like this: “I will run a 5k on September 13th.” And actually go sign up for that 5k!! Having a true deadline makes this so much more real. If you wait until you feel “ready” you may never sign up for it. There is beauty in the pressure to achieve something by a certain timeline. When you have that specific goal and deadline your brain will automatically start to figure out a way to achieve it. If you don’t have that, your brain will start to find reasons to not do it at all. Use your brain for good.

Not too long ago some folks at work wanted to train for a 5k.  The first thing I did was find a 5k and sent the link to everyone and said we are doing this one.  All of the sudden, shit got real.  And we did that 5k!

According to an article written by Marie Forleo, you are 42% more likely to achieve your goals if you write them down daily. That is incredible! So take out a notebook and every morning let the first thing you do be writing down that goal. This will keep your goal fresh in your brain and assist it in finding way to accomplish it instead of making excuses.

Some people may even prefer to make a visual of their goal - you can do it on a computer or if you are talented (unlike me) you can draw it out. You can even make a collage of images using magazines like we did so many times growing up (shout out to my millennials!). Take a minute to literally visualize yourself achieving your goal. What do you look like 20 pounds lighter? How do you feel crossing that finish line? What does it feel like to make the last payment on your student loans? Grab hold of that feeling and that visualization and keep it with you everyday.

Step 3 - Make a plan

Setting the goal and writing it down is the easy part. Making a plan takes a little bit more effort. Spend some time researching your goal and what it takes to achieve it. When I was getting ready to run my first 5k I downloaded the app “couch to 5k” and followed that. That gave me the guidance I needed to get started and with each run it gave me more confidence. Depending on your goal you might have differing levels of research needed.

The key is finding a plan that works for you or adapting someone else’s plan that will work for your life. For example, when I set the goal to run a marathon, I went crazy researching marathon running on the internet and I bought a book about it. I found two plans that I liked, but one seemed too little and one seemed too much, so I merged them and made a plan that I knew was achievable for me. This is KEY! Every single one of you are unique beings. Your life is filled with different priorities, schedules, and challenges. There is no such thing as one size fits all.

When it comes to finding a plan that will work for you, the key thing to look for is baby steps. If your plan is like what I described above of just going out and running 3 miles one day having never run before, you are likely to fail. Instead, you would start with a smaller amount of miles and you would not have the expectation to run the whole time.  You truly can make it whatever you know will work for you and you gradually build yourself up by walking the baby steps in the plan.

Having a plan is key because it will keep you on track and slowly build you up to that overall goal. Make sure once you have found the right plan that you pencil it into your calendar so there is never any question about what you need to do on what days.

Step 4 - be graceful with yourself

With every goal, comes a hiccup. My friend that I ran a marathon with developed a stress fracture in her leg during training. Talk about a blow to her plan! This is where grace comes in. She did not give up on her goal. While she was disappointed to not be able to follow her original training plan, she just went back to the drawing board and said “okay, what can I do?” She then developed a plan on what she could do in order to make sure she was marathon ready. AND SHE DID IT!!  Thank goodness, because I was scared she talked me into this thing and I was gonna have to do it alone!

It is very easy to get down on yourself when something doesn’t go right. You sleep through the alarm. You eat the cake. You have a devastating death in the family. Your dog runs away. You have your period. You eat more cake. Whatever it is, it WILL be something. And when that something happens, I need you to say “It’s okay. I am doing great. I will pick my plan back up where I left off. I am allowing myself the grace to not be perfect.”

We are so damn hard on ourselves and there is no need for it. If you don’t hit your goal by the date you wanted, who cares? The key is to not quit when you get to that obstacle. Modify. Pivot. But don’t quit. I believe in you. You CAN do it!!

This is the foundation to setting and achieving your goal, but I know what you are thinking, how to do I stay accountable to my plan? I am so glad you asked! Stay tuned for the next article where I will dive into accountability!