Giving Thanks in the Hard Times

I would be remiss not to write a blog post about gratitude during the month of November - the month containing my favorite holiday, Thanksgiving.  Thanksgiving became my favorite holiday because it is simple.  No gifts.  No insane obligations.  Just family and food.  Time to truly just be thankful for time together.  And time for me to cook lots of food!  I just love it.

As we travel through November, the month of thankfulness, I think it is so fitting to reflect on where you are right now.  Sometimes it is easy to feel gratitude for where you are right now and sometimes it's really dang hard.  I think it’s important to honor both of those types of feelings - yes, even the hard times. 

I heard this metaphor not too long ago (I wish I could remember where I heard it!) but basically it was about how when you are in a plane and you are in the clouds experiencing turbulence you can’t see the end.  You can’t see far enough ahead to know when the turbulence will end, but it always ends.  You always come out of the clouds into a bright and welcoming sunlit sky.

It is when we come out of the hard times that we are able to look back with gratitude - gratitude that you made it through safely, gratitude that it’s over and also gratitude for what the turbulence taught you.

It is in the hardest of times that we learn so much about ourselves.  We learn who we are.  We learn what we will and will not tolerate.  We learn what our core values are.  We learn how to pivot.  So, what if we could take a moment during these hard times and say thank you for what you are about to learn.  Thank you for these difficult times which even if you can’t see the lesson yet, you know there will be one.  This is where the real shift happens. The shift from only being thankful when you look back at the hard times after you have gone through them to actually experiencing real gratitude for the hard times as they are happening.

What I want to be clear on is that I am not saying to ignore your emotions.  I am not saying “just be grateful in the hard times!” without experiencing any other emotions. I want to share a story to help clarify what I mean.  I recently was feeling really stressed and frustrated about a situation.  I was angry.  I was sad.  I cried my dang eyes out.  I punched a pillow.  I really was feeling down and out and I needed to allow that emotion to come through me and out of me.  After I experienced the emotions, I was able to reflect on how hard it feels right now AND express gratitude for whatever lesson this is teaching me.  It is almost like faith.  You have to actually believe that the hard times are there to serve you.

 I am able to have faith that the hard times will come out with a beautiful lesson because I have walked through hard times before and experienced amazing joy, gratitude and clarity after it was done.  One time I was working at this job that was not at all aligned with my values. I realized it only about a week after starting the job that this was NOT going to be a good fit for me.  It was a grueling 8 months of working there before I was able to make the move to a new job.  During that time, it was so difficult.  I was filled with anxiety. I was filled with frustration. I was begging my husband to just let me quit.  When I got to the other side of that experience - I realized just how much that 8 months prepared me to be a better leader in the next job.  First, it gave me clarity around my core values and who I want to be as a leader.  Second, it gave me ample opportunities to have hard supervisory conversations. And lastly, I gained a lot of skills that were transferable to the next job.  In hindsight, I have so much gratitude for what that experience did to set me up for my future.

 That is one of the main experiences that caused me to start to believe that all hard times have beauty.  And with that belief and faith, I am now able to give gratitude for hard times in my life even when I’m in the midst of them because I know “this too shall pass” and when it does there is going to be a bright light, an aura of joy and a billion lessons to walk away with.

So, if you are struggling today, allow yourself to feel that struggle!  Allow the emotions to flow out of you.  Allow yourself to feel.  I find that journaling about what I am going through and what I am feeling is a really beautiful way to help me process emotions.  My journal is a safe place to legitimately say anything because no one is ever going to see it.  Once you feel like you have fully poured everything out, then you can shift to gratitude.  You might only be able to say “thank you for whatever lessons will come out of this” and that’s okay. 

The way that I incorporate regular gratitude in my life is by writing down 5 small things that happened in the last 24 hours that gave me joy.  This is a practice that Rachel Hollis shared that I adopted into my life and I love it.  Each day I am able to reflect on the last 24 hours and write down or say out loud 5 things that brought me joy.  Small things like catching the sun rising while the fog rolled through the fields or sitting for 5 minutes on my porch in the morning sunlight or going for a run or walk with a friend (or dog).  Sometimes it's listening to the pitter patter of rain on the roof. Essentially what you are doing is searching for things to give gratitude for - which means you are training your brain to look for reasons to be grateful.  It might seem silly, but it has been a total game changer for me and how I am able to approach each day with a better attitude and knowing that I will experience joy in multiple small moments.

The ability to experience gratitude even in crappy times will change your whole outlook on life and help you to know and believe that there is something even greater for you waiting just on the other side of the clouds. You will soon be in a bright, sunlit sky!

Thank you for being here!  I am immensely grateful for you being a part of my community and trusting in me to help you go from where you are now to where you dream of being.  Happy Thanksgiving! <3